e-mail

I got a smart phone my sophomore year of college, because as a new member of a sorority I received on average 25 e-mails a day.  Then, I got involved and had leadership positions.  At the peak of my collegiate career, I got on average (yes, I calculated...I had to have some figures to sell my step-dad on the idea of paying extra for my phone plan.) 42 e-mails a day.  Excuse me? It was unbelievable.  By the end of my junior year, I wanted to smash my smart phone to smithereens, because it never stopped.  I constantly had an e-mail to reply to, or read.  I joked with my boyfriend that I was going to take up a career in professional e-mailing. Get my BEE if you will: Julianne Poe, Bachelors of E-mail Execution.

As I pondered how much time I spent e-mailing, and the figures I had calculated to put myself in a position to be able to receive these e-mails even though they eventually bugged the ever-loving daylights out of me, I thought about how often I put myself in a position to receive the Lord's messages.  I love Jesus Christ with all my heart, but how often to I sit down and calculate the benefits of MAKING opportunities in my life to receive His message.  His message is what I love, it can bug me sometimes when I have days it feels like a chore, but by the end I'm at peace.  How is it that we constantly put ourselves in a position to receive news we don't want than allowing ourselves the opportunity to receive the news we do?

monograms

My initials are JMP.  Written in monogram form, they are JPM.  Everything I own is monogrammed.  It’s a problem.  My boyfriend’s last name starts with a P, and it’s an ongoing joke that I keep him around so I can keep all my monogrammed stuff.  Obviously an exaggeration, but I realized how narcissistic it probably comes off that I’m so obsessed with my initials.  People know what letter my last name starts with before they meet me.   And my middle name.  Most people you know pretty well probably don’t know your last name.  Everyone I know at least knows my middle name starts with an M.  If I walk in my bedroom door right now I can touch three monograms visible to the naked eye that are a part of my décor.  Obsessed? Maybe.  I just think it looks pretty, okay? 

I was reading Genesis and Exodus in the past few months, and I couldn't help but notice how important the lineages are to those who read and wrote these books.  They loved their kids, and wanted their reputations to be that they were the children of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  When I look at my monogram, I hope that one day when I have children, they realize they're not just in my family, but their monogram should be centered around the Cross.  That above all the lineage, my family brings glory to His name instead of that P. 

twitter

So, it's official.  I caved. I have a twitter. before yesterday afternoon, I’d never had a twitter account. I was proud of that statement as a 21-year-old lady. My friends are obsessed with this social phenomenon.  I often got tagged @juliannepoe in people’s tweets without even having one in sole pursuit that maybe I will jump on the band wagon.  I have a hard enough time getting engulfed in people’s status updates on facebook.  Now on twitter, I will be so concerned with everyone else’s daily opinions on nonsense, the site would be renamed to “LegalizedStalking.com”.  I now have my twitter hooked up to my iPhone. Two words: BIG MISTAKE.  I have already found myself looking at twitter in between classes when I used to look at scripture.  The terms twitter has coined as their definition of “friends” on facebook is so oddly honest.  You have followers and the following.  This is what our culture has become.  We follow each other.  We follow each other’s advice.  And above all, we want followers. 

We have become a culture that turns to each other for earthly views instead of following the divine advice that the Lord’s word gives us.  We’re more concerned with everyone’s opinion on our life and their own, that we miss listening and seeing God’s perfect plan.  I was reading Luke 14:25-30, and it made me think of this whole twitter thing again.  Sometimes the cost to build a foundation in Him means we have to give up following or pursuing or even caring about other’s opinions.  If Jesus had a twitter, would you be willing to have only His insight on your home screen?

leggings

In my college days, there has been an awful fashion phase.  I think most people can say this in some way, but leggings are an undergarment.  And in 2010, girls think they’re pants.  Wear with a baggy t-shirt and some Ugg boots, and apparently, you have an outfit.  I beg to differ.  Leggings should not be worn in public unless something is covering your rear i.e. a dress, skirt or shorts.  Now, I do wear leggings around my house with a baggy tee and some fluffy socks, but not in public.  They’re not pants.  They’re a step up from tights.  Maybe this is just a personal fashion preference, but I think many people, including the inventor of leggings, would agree with me.  Their purpose isn’t to be pants.  And when they act like pants, they look funny.  They don’t flatter the person unless they're Adriana Lima and all they really need is a cheeseburger. The inventor of leggings didn’t mean for them to serve as an actual article of stand-alone clothing. They look like it.  They CAN act like it.  But it’s not their purpose.  I had a recent struggle with my purpose.  I felt called into ministry at age seventeen.  Little did I know the journey I was about to take when I made a vow to the Lord that I would follow wherever He took me.   He took me into three internships in student ministries.  He took me into a sorority. Weird, I know.  He lead me to friendships and relationships that I never would have imagined myself being a part of.  When he took me into student ministries, I thought automatically this is it.  I was good at it. I COULD do it.  That didn’t mean it was my purpose. I’m so comfortable in churches.  Leggings are comfortable, too.  God didn’t put me on this Earth to be comfortable.  He put me here to serve MY purpose.  He created me with specificity. My current internship is with this awesome college ministry that weekly touches lives through the spirit that brings me to near tears every week.  I watched the other people in my office work, and saw their passion and execution.  They were fulfilling their purpose.  I wanted to be fulfilling my purpose as well.  Being a part of this ministry allowed me to meet so many people, and fulfill my purpose by being uncomfortable and meeting new people. It isn’t that I was lacking the passion.  It was that I was changing my own purpose by making myself comfortable.  Then, I thought about the lives that God had lead me to touch the most while in college ministry.  Sorority women.  I had started seeing my life through my sight and not through His purpose.  We start wearing the leggings out of comfort and not for their purpose.  

lace panties

I know you’re thinking this has got to be the risqué blog on living a pure life.  Well, kind of, but not really.  I have lived a very privileged life.  I drove a Mercedes as my first car (it was a 1972, but regardless beautiful and a dream car),  I carry a Louis Vuitton purse, I’m in a sorority, I have enough clothes to clothe a small country, I have traveled all over the United States, I have been on many cruises, my family is a member of a country club, if I ask for something for Christmas, I pretty much get it. I am unbelievably thankful for all I have, and I guess it's sometimes makes me feel guilty that I love shopping for everything, decorating supplies, clothes, handbags, etc.  But my all time favorite thing to buy is underwear.  I can’t walk in Victoria’s Secret without buying a 5 for $25 deal.  There’s just something about having my own little secret under all my clothes that I look good and cute underneath it all.  No one really sees me in my underwear.  But I like knowing I look good in my underwear.  It’s weird. I know.  But then I think about it as a spiritual analogy.  Do we often worry about what we look like stripped down for the Lord?  We’re in this world where we put on a show for everyone around us.  It’s all about how we’re perceived by others.  But if we stripped all the fluff, all the stuff covering our true identity, would we look good? Do we shop for the underwear of our spiritual life when we’re trying to invest in our eternal life? Or are we just adding on the layers to flatter our spiritual bodies to the world?  Read Galatians 1.

cell phones

I can’t tell you how many text messages I send a day.  I have broken 3 Blackberry phones in one year, and my step-dad says they just give up because they’re tired.  They can’t possibly make a phone that can keep up with the amount that I socialize on my phone and keep in constant conversation with people throughout the day. I'm a text addict. It's a problem, I'm aware. I actually named my phone when I got a BlackBerry; it was "PinkBerry" (picture below). I always want to be in the know.  What’s going on with my best friend, my boyfriend, my family. I find myself often having to direct my conversations out of gossip to be in the know and into a godly mindset of wanting to be in the know out of concern.  

As women, we use about double the amount of words a day as the average male.  I know why.  We’re trying to keep each other informed, but we’re also trying to show each other up on who knows what about whom.  It’s about who is in the know more.  This guy I went to high school with had a conversation with me once about what he liked to call “prayer gossip”.  It’s when a group of women get together and talk about everyone else that’s not there, but they always end their gossip with, “well, we should pray for them.” It’s amazing how much word and gossip can travel in the name of prayer.  How would our prayer lives and actual lives change if our prayers and talk came from genuine concern and not a selfish need to know the latest?  I feel like we're called to look out for each other, to pray for each other.  But, there’s a fine line between telling your friends what you heard yesterday at the salon and really wanting to assist a friend through prayer.

formals

Prom, Formal, Wedding Day.  Not really an equivalent, I know. But when you were going to your first prom, didn’t you feel like it could have been your wedding day?  Like the parliament of Wales should role out the red carpet for you to walk in Princess Diana’s steps because you were just as pretty…if not more? You worried for hours and hours that your dress was going to fit perfectly. That no one was going to know you were wearing spanx.  You stressed out about if the ribbon in your corsage corresponded directly with the vest of your date’s tuxedo.  Every tiny detail was thought about.  Stressed about.  I’m a planner.  My junior prom I had planned down to the minute.  What time I was getting in the shower.  What time I need to be out.  What time I needed to be leaving for the salon.  I even Map Quested how far the salon was from my house.  And inevitably, my date was late.  Late.  On the single most important day of my life.  LATE.  I used to get the hiccups before big events. Not because I was nervous. But because I needed things to go according to my schedule.  I didn’t want to show I was worried, but instead I hiccupped.  I remember trying every remedy known to man waiting on my date to pull into the driveway.  Longest ten minutes of my life.  That’s how my whole life has been.  I have a plan.  It’s detailed. It encompasses what I think everyone else’s plan should be, too.  I remember reading in a Francis Chan book about how having stress and worry is disrespectful to God, because its showing that deep down inside, we don’t trust He can handle it.  My date pulled in the driveway twelve minutes late.   Me hiccupping and worrying about it for those few minutes didn’t get me anywhere.  I was still where I was going to be if I just drank some sweet tea and kicked my feet back.  It’s hard for us to trust God sometimes because we know our plan, and we’re still figuring out His.  We get stressed and worried when we’re not trusting His perfect plan for our lives.  I hate when people take that phrase perfect plan and twist it to think that if we’re one with God that everything’s going to be like an episode of the Brady Bunch where we all roast marshmallows and sing show tunes perfectly on key with each other and all any problem needs is a little discussion with Pops.  No.  It’s going to be hard.  God’s perfect plan includes obstacles.  It’s not about the worry you put yourself through and how YOU get yourself through them.  It’s about how you discuss with your Father how you can live and trust in His will for your life. Read Matthew 6:27.

sundresses

I love Sundays in the Spring in Knoxville.  There’s a warming feeling when you’re driving down the road with the sunroof open, sundress on, and church bells ringing.  Feeling the sun on your shoulders, seeing the happy people come out of church and rush to the local restaurants.  I was brought up in a home where we went to church every Sunday, no matter what.  I’m thankful my mother raised me that way.  God calls us to keep the Sabbath Day holy, and I’m thankful it was instilled in me to keep that as a priority.  It’s easy to make excuses not to go in this time in our lives.  We have so much to do, so little time in the day.  There’s so many new experiences to explore.  I remember my Freshman year outside of North Carrick Hall one Sunday morning, a friend of mine, Ben, saw me with my sundress on walking to my car with my Bible in hand.  He came and gave me a hug.  He said he felt encouraged by seeing me do that.  He told me a statistic of more than 70% of collegiate students losing or straying away from their faith or regular involvement in a church in college.  

And I thought to myself, “Wow, how discouraging.”  I, then, realized we often have this mind set.  We are more likely to look for the discouraging parts of faith than the encouraging.  We focus on the times we feel like God has failed us or someone else than look at the abundance of times He has blessed our lives and other’s.  I joined my sorority chapter because it was based on Christian ideals, and I knew those were the sisters that would come to church with me.  A year into it, things had changed.  Everyone got schooled.  College life had taken over.  And I was, all of the sudden, driving solo to church.  I started to ask other girls in other chapters to ride with me to church, girls in chapters with not so great reputations.  I found myself sitting in my seat at church worried more that my friends weren’t with me than rejoicing that the girls that I had brought with me had come! One of my biggest burdens if for the Church.  And as I grow older I realize how many times as Christians we can have a negative attitude about the Church.  How can we expect people to feel encouraged by coming to church and having that same warming feeling on Sunday mornings, if we are focused on the discouraging ourselves? 

spring break

Spring Break is the highlight of Spring semesters of my college career. In the fall, there is Volunteer football and tailgating. In the spring, there is Spring Break.  I went to Destin last with a group from my church.  We might have been the only college students on Miramar Beach to be sipping Diet Root Beer out of our red solo cups, in bed before midnight, and up before eight o’clock.  Sounds like a trip to a senior citizens center in Pensacola, I know.  But we had a blast.  We played Frisbee, Corn hole, Volleyball, Football, and everything in between.  We fellowshipped and enjoyed each other’s company.  I realized two things on this trip:

The first was on Tuesday morning.  I woke up in my California King sized bed that I was sharing with two other girls, to find one of the girls missing.  I hadn’t heard the door to the room open.  I got out of the bed and walked to the window to evaluate the weather.   I saw the girl sitting on the balcony with her bible in hand reflecting on God’s creation by the seashore.   I felt a rush of guilt.  I read my devotional every morning at home.  I said my prayers and reflected on the day in conversation with God every night.  In my mind though, this was vacation.  I was somehow justifying denying myself quiet time as relaxation.  I was more concerned with an investment in my tan skin than in my eternal life and personal relationship with the Maker of everything great I was seeing.  I was inspired by her.  Why didn’t I find enjoyment in spending that time with God, and WANT to relax in conversation with Him even on vacation?  Didn’t I realize I would find more rest and peace in His word than I could ever find laying on a beach towel? 

The second thing I realized was a new type of service.  I watched these young men and women enjoying their time just as I had my entire life, by just being their fun-loving selves.   I realized that in today’s world of extreme expectations, we often feel we have to be super Christians and be on our A-game at all times.  If we’re not serving in huge ways every moment of everyday, we have room for improvement.  I’m not saying we don’t all have opportunity for growth at all points in life, but we have become to wrapped up in being the “Best Christian”, we forget that just simple fellowship and connection with people is a service in God’s name.   Connecting with someone on a level that helps them to become comfortable and connected, will lead to the opportunity to be an assistant to God’s work in lives later.

I can't wait for Spring Break again in just a few ways, and opportunities to learn a few more lessons that He has in store when I'm least expecting it.   

kesha

Tik Tok on the clock, but the party don’t stop. The clock is always ticking, but the party of life doesn’t stop.  My collegiate career started with a rollercoaster of emotions my freshman year.  The University of Tennessee was complete culture shock.  Everything was the opposite of what I knew as life.  All the sudden, I had free time.  And I hated it.  So, my sophomore year, I stepped up my game.  I involved myself in so many organizations, TV became a thing of my past.  I always wanted more time, NEEDED more time.  Thirty-six hours in the day would have been nice.  Then, one day it hit me.  I wasn’t spending my time wisely.  I wrote a resume and saw that everything I did wouldn’t even fit on one page.  “Waste of time” was what I thought.  But then I thought about it again.  Was this how I was pursuing my life? Spending/wasting time for a resume.  There weren’t enough hours in the day.  But how would my life change if I actively pursued a life of “wasting” time in prayer, in His word, or living His will on earth by leading others to His word?