maggie moo's

In high school, and actually still today, my friends' and my favorite place for ice cream was Maggie Moo's.  There was just something about sitting out in the humidity of a southern summer with the sweet taste of that half-liquid dairy dream cooling your palette while the rod-iron porch chairs imprinted a waffle pattern on the back of your legs.  It was our place to unwind from our "stressful" summer days of part-time jobs and sunburns.  The hardest part of the night was always picking out your mix-ins.  Oh, the choices! I went a few weeks back with a few of my friends from college. One of the girls was debating what she wanted to get in her ice cream, but didn't want to overwhelm the flavor.  She wanted to get the perfect concoction.  It's such a hard life making decisions between M&Ms or caramel sauce.  

I have made a lot of "life" decisions lately.  The days of a twenty-something seem to constantly be spent thinking about tomorrow: what will further your career, where do you want to settle down, with whom do you want to settle down, what will be best for your future family?  We want to set ourselves up for success.  I've made a lot of these choices lately.  I've moved my whole life around based on some very distinct missions God outlined for me to complete.  And I was happy to do so.  The thing I love about God is that He's as hard to predict as a Tennessee Spring day.  You never know when a curve ball is going to come, and you wished you didn't wear your rain boots on a bright and sunny day.  Then, there are those moments that He shows us love, and give us a choice between coffee or birthday cake ice cream.  Neither is wrong, and both satisfy a sweet tooth.  

I'm learning to embrace those opportunities.  To see that He loves me enough that sometimes He wants me to just do what I want (within reason, of course) every once in a while.  He is my Father, after all.  And every dad wants his daughter to learn, grow, achieve and obey, but sometimes he just wants to see his little girl smile.  When given opportunities that you don't see a distinct path that God lays out, and neither choice is wrong, God has given you discerment and wisdom as one of His children.  Choose what brings a flutter of joy to your heart, and makes you want to spin like Cinderella to see your Daddy smile. 

jeep

I bought my own first car at age 22.  He's a beaut.  I call him "Tom".  Reason 1: He's a Jeep Patriot. Reason 2: My step-dad co-signed for him.  His last name is Thomas.  He's a namesake car.  I try to live my life completely and totally Biblically lead.  I want the Lord to breath advice, insight and wisdom into me life through His breathed Word.  This gets a little tricky in the modern world.  The Bible doesn't outline traffic directions for motor vehicles.  The Bible doesn't give me advice for defensive driving.  It does tell me about respecting authority, which helps.  

It was brought to my attention by my fabulous small group of Junior and Senior girls that some Christians believe since the Bible doesn't outline dating, it's unacceptable.  As a 17 year-old, this is confusing and conflicting.  "I live in America, and my parents aren't going to arrange a marriage for me, so how on God's green earth am I supposed to marry a Godly man if I don't date him or get to know him on a level that shows me his character in a romantic, providing setting (that others will just define as dating even if I don't)?" This is foggy.  And scary.  At seventeen, I wanted to do everything right.  I wanted to be a good girl, and walk the straight and narrow. But am I going to be judged if I date?  Better question: am I going to be a weirdie if I take a stance against dating?  In the same manner that the Bible doesn't outline a red-light, green-light strategy, but does tell me to obey the law and authority, it doesn't say anything about "dating", but it does talk about relationships between women and men.  

My encouragement to teens, read Matthew 6:33 and 10:37.  Is your relationship with Jesus at a point where the boy or girl you are dating or want to date will feel neglected and second-best by you because of your relationship with Jesus?  Ask yourself, are you the person you want the man or woman you want to marry to be looking for?   If not, you're not ready to date.  If so, continue to delight yourself in the Lord, exploring His Word and guidelines for your life that will put you in a state-of-mind and give you the actions to act Biblically spilling into your relationships (Psalm 4:23).

The Bible doesn't give me specifics about dating, or driving, or cupcakes.  But it does equip me strive for a life of righteousness that will allow me to live Biblically in 2013.

mirror, mirror

Snow White was beautiful, because she was pale. PALE! Ten percent of Americans spend on average $300 per year to tan indoors. That's roughly $9,417,421,200 spent annually on tanning alone in the United States by my own calculations. And Snow White (yes, fictional, but historically pale was pretty) was beautiful. Y'all, I guess this means beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Or even in the eyes of culture. 

Body Image and perceived beauty is something no woman will ever escape. We're shot at left and right with images of women that have the bookoos  of bucks that it takes to pay for a personal trainer, make-up artist, hair stylist, chef, small army of beauty.  It's their job to be beautiful, and we're expected to keep up.  

And then there was Pinterest.  On top of it all, Pinterest is telling us, "Look how easy it is! Just do 700 pushups, 1,000 crunches, and 10,000 jumping jacks before every shower, and wake-up four hours early to chop and bag some really cheap berries, melon and lean fish to create perfect portions to take to work, and y

ou'll be a swimsuit model by Friday. Oh, and make this cookie, brownie, Oreo creation for your friends tonight, but don’t you dare taste it. AND don’t forget to plan the perfect party outfit for that bridal shower you planned that you should make these individual goodie bags for with hand-sewn, chevron cardigans in each."

Puh-lease.

It doesn't work...I've tried it. :)  You will crash and burn. Don't judge.  

4 out of 4 girls will tell you that when they walk into a room they check out the girls first. Size up the competition, I guess.  We like to see what we're up against.  What everyone else is comparing us to.  4 out of 4 girls will also tell you that they worry more about what the girls in the room are saying or thinking about them than the boys. (P.S. I made those stats up, but it’s true. Just ask 4 women.) It’s like not only do we see our own mirror, but we want to look at others as for our mirror. We want to see ourselves like Ashley with perfect hair, Bethany with the perfect make-up and complexion, and Jennifer with the awesome body.

We've all heard that advice before: Everyone us made differently. You're beautiful the way God made you. You were made in the image of God. It's a slap in the face to God's creation. Your body is a temple, treasure it.  

All these things are true.  I'm not saying otherwise at all, but do they really help us feel better? Do they really put you at peace? If I'm being honest, the answer is no. 

How do we get to that point when we look at ourselves and can say, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, in the trap of body image misconceptions I will not fall”?

At age 23, I look back at my 17-year-old self, and wish I could tell her a few things.  And one of them is that I’m glad you looked so darn cute in that outfit for that photo, but I wish you had spent your time and thoughts a little more responsibly.  And I’m positive that when I’m 50, I’ll still have more to say to my younger self.  That’s just because this isn’t going away. The fact of the matter is I can’t tell my 17-year-old self that when you’re 23 you’ll be perfectly satisfied with your body and how you look.  Because that would be a lie.

Luckily what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  After a very awkward Easter where the Easter bunny put protein powder in my basket in hopes of me gaining weight after a stage of extreme under eating, I decided I needed to get some things right. 

TO BE CONTINUED…