banquets

As a member of a sorority, I attend banquets, frequently.  This weekend I attended two.  All the girls get dressed up, and boys put on a suit and tie, and we all sit around a table on our best manners.  There's usually some sort of program on the table that tells you what is about to happen during your meal, and people will stand at a podium, and talk about whatever it is you've gathered for.  I remember at a recent banquet I made the mistake of pouring my caramel dessert dip on to my plate, and dipping my brownie in it  with my fingers.  Unmannerly to the max, but I was being myself at the banquet amidst the attempts to act like we all had attended etiquette schools our entire lives.  I attended my last banquet for my sorority last night.  It was a recognition of the seniors.  I felt to weird, because my sorority career was all coming to an end, and I was oddly okay with it.  I watched the other seniors cry, and reminisce on the past four years.  Don't get me wrong; I will miss it.  I will miss constantly having companionship, J. Crew clothes, and banquets, but I had a realization when a non-Greek friend asked me how I felt about it all now that I was looking back on it. Here is my answer:  I'm thankful for my Greek experience.  It made me strong.  It tested my faith and values.  It gave me a deep trust in the plans the Lord has set before me.  It gave me an even deeper trust in following His Word and laws, because if I stay in His arms despite when conforming to the world seems like it would be the most comforting, I will be provided for.  So, it felt weird to be okay with it, because I didn't think I would be, but now I feel like it is my time to leave.  I learned more about myself and who I am than I ever have before.  I'm thankful for all I learned, but it wasn't always me.  I'm sure all of us have felt like that at some point in our lives with something; like we're sitting at a banquet dunking our brownie in caramel sauce against the manners of what the world would tell us is right.  I will cherish and love every person I've met along the way, but above all, walking out of that banquet I realized my most important lesson: it wasn't who I was; but it taught me even more about whose I am.