hats

I'm a college graduate.  I'm an employee.  I'm a daughter. I'm a step-daughter.  I'm a sister, and a step-sister.  I'm a cousin, a niece, a grand-daughter, and a girlfriend. I'm a sorority girl.  I'm an advice giver, and a spoon ring wearer.  I'm an aspiring mother.I'm a republican. I'm a renter.  I'm a friend.  I'm a Christian. 

Identities are found in so many aspects of our lives.  People in high school knew me as the girl who did everything.  Don't try it, it's exhausting.  The most fun I had in high school was when I stopped trying to be everything, and started being me.  Wearing a million hats, under so many different identities, is exhausting.  It's funny how our culture has accepted it.  It's not weird or wrong for me to have 18 identities, and wear 18 different hats; it's expected.  As a college student, I needed to be a student, an advocate, a worker, an active member of my university (in more ways than 5), family and church.  Now I'm not saying that we shouldn't thrive to be all of those things with a positive, persevering attitude (Philippians 4:8-9), but when our purity from that verse is affected by the fogginess of attempting to find ourselves in those identities, we, or at least, I start to lose myself in attempting to find the positive in those identities than in His identity for me. 

I can't wear 18 hats. I read once the statement "existence precedes essence." I want to wear 18 hats, because I want to give the essence that I've got it all together, and I can do it all with grace and poise.  In order to give that essence I have to be that way. And the truth is, God gave me didn't give me 18 heads.